autumn into winter
The year has been a unique experience. We are all in it. I can’t think of anyone that’s exempt from the collective roller coaster that’s happening on earth right now. 2020 had all the promise of a miracle making year. The information (downloads or messages) I was getting all 2019 were of BIG THINGS. This was to be a time of hearts cracking open, energetic renewal, a real renaissance, a magical era being born… I still believe that’s what is happening, but the thing about miracles is, they don’t often look the way I expect them to. My miracles have showed up wrapped in total chaos, heartbreak, plant medicine journeys, shadow work. It can be a messy journey. Dark night of the soul (with a rainbow at the end) vibes.
Wherever you are, you’re right on track. But the Groundhog Day-ness (do you all agree? I re-watched Groundhog Day with my kids last week and it was still hilarious but also maddeningly appropriate) of life now really gets to me. I miss the whimsy and adventurous nature of my previous day to day life. Being hyper vigilant is an nervous system destroyer. a foe to mental health. I’ve felt sad and blue or extremely anxious so many times since March. I’m working on accepting that slow living & tons of preventative self care is necessary for me. This is especially true in times of stress.
Since March, My Daughter and I have spent most of our time together. We have our own universe at home. We both enjoy quiet time, projects, baking and movie nights. Education has been home school for years, so we were used to the rhythm of learning without a “classroom” but it’s been sad to not have museums and other places to visit to break up our days. I often wonder if people who are quarantining with their spouses and partners are annoyed with them. I feel blessed, or bummed, to be without a partner right now. It depends on the day.
The insight I’ve been getting, since spring, has been about accessing the supportive medicine we all carry with us. These practices are meant to soothe & calm our overstimulated nervous systems and restore us to
*Creativity- Stepping into creating is important. It doesn’t need to be grand or amazing. But play, curiosity and just exploring creativity will help heal and expand us all. I like to think of the Tarot card 6 of Cups and step into that childlike joyful energy when trying new things. Let go of judgement around your creations (whatever they may be! Do whatever seems interesting & fun.).
*Celebrate small wins- I have big dreams and a few major goals I’m working on. But during this year, I am not going to apply pressure that I haven’t finished writing my book. I’m pretty happy that I got out of bed by 9am and finished this blog post today! I’ve been working so much on letting go of “hustle” programming the last few years. This year is the deepest dive into unpacking that story. I no longer make giant to do lists, measuring my worth by how many items I can cross off. Yes, on some days that might feel good and right but it’s about balance. Grinding away at goals day after day doesn’t help me. It exhausts me.
*Embodiment- In times of trauma and uncertainty, I tend to go into overthinking mode. I put all my energy into my mental realm and it’s just spinning there. It’s too much, there’s no balance. I’m a Libra (my Sun & 4 planets!) so I go into super disconnected Air-mode easily. In those moments I fee too airy! I have to remind myself, daily (often many times a day) to re-inhabit my entire body. One of the quickest ways I’ve found to become embodied is to simply focus in on deep breathing. In times of stress, I forget to breathe deeply, it’s almost as if I’m holding my breathe and only allowing myself tiny sips of air. I begin by taking in a deep breathe through my nose and exhaling it out my mouth-making an Ahhh of Haaaa sound. I let myself feel my belly expand and contract. I do this until I feel my energy filling up my body, until I’ve fully returned to myself. Movement is another good way to come back into your body. Dance, squirm, roll around on your bed, twist and shake your limbs... It doesn’t have to be pretty or cute, just get that stuck energy moving. Swimming, long walks, Pilates and Yoga also help me to feel fully IN my body.
*Ritual- I try to bring Ritual into everyday. It’s a mindfulness practice. Framing my day to day as sacred and adopting a rhythm that is based in ritual practices connects me to myself, my helpful spirits and ancestors. I feel lit up and held when I live in this way. Life, as Ritual, is about infusing all that I do with intention and love. It can be as simple as beginning everyday by lighting a candle and having a few minutes of silent meditation or prayer. I feel so strongly about how much this practice has helped me that I wrote an e-book about it. You can find my book “Everyday Rituals” in my shop if you’d like to go deeper into this work.
*It’s ok to say NO- These are heavy times. We’re all going through it. I try my best to be a supportive friend and listener but honestly, I’m quite limited in how much energetic support I can offer to other people right now. I have to take care of my own mental health and support my children. I do Tarot reading and Intuitive sessions with people professionally. Other than that, I’m not available to listen while people process or vent. And that’s ok. I know that I’m supporting myself when I say no to things that will leave me feeling drained.
*Plant Magick- I find so much peace in tending plants, creating plant potions, hugging trees, visiting plants in the forest… I also love flower essences and tinctures as part of my wellness routine. Even in the busiest city, cut flowers and houseplants can be brought inside. Plants have their own energy & consciousness, just sitting with a tree or plant in it’s natural habitat has healing, restorative properties. Walk to a park/green space or drive to a forest that’s not overpopulated with people and explore the plant world.
Guided meditations (in a candlelit bath), Tapping/EFT and high vibrational food are a few other things that have felt supportive. I also joined a (new to me) online magical membership community this year so that I could try some new classes and (virtually) meet like hearted women.
Being in Autumn (every year) brings a burst of inspiration but also a tiredness and cozy need to rest more than usual. I’m going with it. Not fighting it and just rolling into winter at a softer, slower pace. I’m in the pacific northwest and it’s pretty much dark here by 4:30pm! Once the sun sets, my body just wants to stop trying to do anything but lounge. I do my best to get up at sunrise (which is around 7:45am) and let myself wake up slowly. It takes me about 2 hours of gentle morning wake-up practices before I’m even ready to go online/work.
I think a lot about what I’m calling in. I read poetry, re-read Anais Nin and watch emotional movies to investigate how others imagine Love. I think often about Love, as ever. A big part of the focus of my magick and work in this life has been exploring Love and understanding relationships. Curating and discerning what works for me. Love, now, looks nothing like I ever thought it would. Love has had a revolution within my mind. The kind of romantic Love I’m calling in, is one I’ve never been a part of. Yet. This Love I feel, like a distant star, is so different from the ideas handed down from my parents. I was raised to not feel. I was taught to disconnect and wear masks. I’m un-learning what I was taught, re-opening my heart. I’m no longer drawn to dances of trauma-bonding or co-dependency. It’s an adventure that feels exciting, new and foreign.
This year has intensified my ability to feel. Distractions removed, shops closed, events postponed… It’s me, my body, soul, mind. Bringing it all together and practicing feeling and not overthinking it all. Letting myself step into the flow of feeling which I imagine like a river. No beginning, no end, all connected and powerful. Restoring myself to my fullness, remembering my soft, sweet nature, and what a strength it is to feel.
love & sweetness, xo Mindy Sue